Global pandemics and current events are stressful. So many worries and unknowns. If you are feeling on edge, know this is normal. There are things you can do to take care of anxiety and one important thing to remember is self-care. Prioritize self-care so that you can cope with what comes next. Another critical factor is to remember that it is okay to ask for help. Modeling this for your children encourages them to also ask for help when they have needs. In addition, know what signs to look for to determine if you or your children need additional help in dealing with stressors.
As the number of COVID-19 positive cases and people in quarantine rise, our levels of anxiety tend to increase. The mental health staff in Forest Hills have worked to create a page of resources to meet the needs of our families. This page contains many valuable resources including a list of all the mental health staff and their contact information for each building throughout Forest Hills, a list of information for secondary students and families about COVID-19 (including understanding and recognizing the warning signs of depression), guides to support the social/emotional needs of children and how to talk about COVID, a list of resources and contact information for mental health supports in the Grand Rapids area, a list of local assistance programs including food sources, and strategies for self-care, and more. Our mental health staff has tried to create a page that families can go to which provides resources for any needs families may have at this time.
Where to Turn if You Need Help
In addition to FHPS school counselors and social workers, FHPS has three mental health liaisons to assist students and families. They assist the district in mental health initiatives and are able to provide direct assistance to students and families with a variety of services including direct referrals for mental health support, connection to community resources, and assistance in times of crisis.
Ranger Mental Health Liaison
Kate DeVries is the Mental Health Liaison for the Central district attendance area including Ada Vista Elementary School. Prior to joining FHPS, she has worked in several school settings, providing services to address issues associated with anxiety, depression, social and academic difficulties, behavioral problems, crisis interventions, and suicide assessments. In addition, her previous outpatient therapy work with children, adolescents, adults, and families has centered around treatment associated with behavioral, eating and mood disorders. She also has years of experience in working with psychological testing including ADHD, Autistic Spectrum and Behavioral, Educational, and Neurological Disorders. She is excited to continue her work in the schools providing services to students, parents, families, and staff to address the emotional and behavioral health needs within FHPS.
Hawk Mental Health Liaison
Mattie serves the Eastern district attendance area and Goodwillie 5/6 School. Prior to joining FHPS, Mattie worked as a child and family therapist at both the home-based and outpatient levels of care. She has a passion for working with children who have experienced trauma and helping to meet their social and emotional needs. Mattie believes that if the social and emotional needs of the child are prioritized and adequately met, then they can then be successful learners in the classroom.
Husky Mental Health Liaison
Jon serves the Northern district attendance area including the Transition Center. Before joining the FHPS team, he worked as a child and family therapist in both home-based and outpatient programs. This experience helps him assist others navigating through school, mental health, child welfare, and juvenile justice issues. In his clinical work, he has focused extensively on complex trauma and its effect across generations. This process has included working with youth who were psychiatrically hospitalized, detained for criminal charges, or removed from the home due to severe emotional/behavioral issues. Most recently, he transitioned from providing therapy at one of Pine Rest’s outpatient clinics. He is passionate about utilizing data to improve mental health programs and is excited to join Forest Hills’ dedication to serving the whole child.
Tips for Supporting Your Child Through Grief and Loss
It is difficult to think or talk about death. Experiencing loss during a national pandemic creates even additional and unique challenges. Many of the traditional ways of processing grief will look different due to social distancing requirements. This will be an adjustment for all. We are hopeful that the suggestions and resources below will be helpful as you and your child process this loss.
- It is important to talk about death even though it is hard. Allow your child to ask questions and answer truthfully. It is also okay not to have all the answers.
- Expect that your child may exhibit mood swings, struggle with emotional expression and require reassurance that they are safe. It’s normal for everyone to have different feelings – fine and happy at times or sad or even mad at other times.
- Be available to process feelings with your child. Validate their feelings using phrases such as “I can see why you would feel that way.”, “It is ok to feel that way.”, or simply “Tell me more about what makes you feel that way.”
- Encourage self-care for both yourself and your child. Model ways to take care of yourself through physical exercise, spending time with family pets, music, etc.
- Allow choice regarding how or if your child would like to be involved in events that are planned in celebration of the life that was lost.
- Dedicate time to put down electronic devices and talk. We are in the midst of a time where everyone is working hard to stay connected virtually, while connection is key to feeling part of a community of support it is also important to set healthy boundaries with screens.
Helpful Resources
Ele’s Place: Ele’s Place West Michigan is dedicated solely to helping children and teens work with and through grief. Ele’s Place recognizes that the emotions that children and teens experience during times of great change, such as the Coronavirus pandemic, can be very similar to the emotions experienced after a death. Your students may be grieving the loss of an interrupted school year, fewer extracurricular activities, the inability to see friends or family members, the loss of a parent’s income, and much more. Unfortunately, the need for our services will never go away. Unresolved grief negatively affects our children and teens, contributing to alarming rates of depression, addiction, and violence. Among the information on their website is an article about talking to your children about death.
The National Alliance for Grieving Children has a toolkit, in English and Spanish, parents can download for free. For many that offer grief support to children, teens and those that care for them there are many challenges as a result of the social distancing that is necessary in light of the global pandemic. The National Alliance for Grieving Children created a series of free resources.
FHPS school counselors and mental health liaisons. If you would like additional support or have concerns about your child please reach out to a FHPS counselor or mental health liaison. Contact information is provided on this web page, listed above.
Take time for self-care. The Virtual Calming Room website offers sounds and music, visual relaxation, links to apps, and more and was created by OSSEO Area Learning Center of Minnesota.
Additional Articles about Grief and Loss
- Grief and COVID-19: Saying Goodbye in the Age of Physical Distancing, by the American Psychological Association
- Understanding Grief in the Age of the COVID-19 Pandemic
- How to Cope with Bereavement During the COVID-19 Pandemic, by Psychology Today
- Grief and COVID-19: Mourning our Bygone Lives: The pandemic has led to a series of losses, from our sense of safety to our social connections, to our financial security. Psychologists point to ways we can heal by the American Psychological Association.
